I'll do it!

"Well, well, well. Looks like I underestimated you." the general says. "You've got more guts than I thought. I'm impressed." He catches the faintest hint of a smile on your face. "But don't you think that you'll get it easier than any of the other recruits, you here?!!" He grimaces angrily. "You're gonna work hard, sweat hard, and bleed hard if need be, you got that?!!" You nod slowly. "Good. Now then, let's begin, shall we?"
"O..Okay." you say.
"Here's the deal. This army has many levels. The guys you saw on the training ground were just bootmen, grunt soldiers, cannon fodder. And i'm sure you don't wanna be cannon fodder, do ya boy?"
You shake your head.
"I can't hear you!!"
"No sir!" you say.
"I thought not. Ok, if you don't wanna be a petty grunt, then you gotta work your way up the ranks. The harder you work, the higher your rank gets. Why, if you work hard enough, you might even get my job. Do you want my job, private?"
"Sir, yes sir!!" you chime in eagerly.
"What?" He looks at your spitefully. "You tryin' to put me out of work, private?!"
"Sir, no sir!!" you say.
He grumbles begrudgingly. "Ok, here's what you do. You gotta send a letter of dedication to the Boss, informing him that you want to be in his Legion. In it, you gotta give him your name (or alias), a brief description of yourself, i.e. hobbies, interests, horoscope sign, and whatever other crap you wanna share with him that'll probably turn my stomach. If you're really good, one'a those techno-wizard types, you could send him a picture too, and he'll post it up in your bio screen. Just whatever you wanna send, know what i'm sayin'? Then, he'll take you to his Laboratory, and implant your brain patterns into one of the grunt clones you saw in the Training Ground. It sounds a lot more painful than it really is, trust me. All it means is that he's going to place your info on one of the pics you saw in the Training Ground. Then, you'll become a foot man. Whoever visits the Training Ground can approach one of the soldiers, and speak to him or her. If you're lucky, they'll approach you, and get the 411 on your rank in the Legion. Everything about you will be in your bio-screen. (For an example, click here.) Then, you and only you decide how high you're willing to go. If you complete one of The Doc's drills, you get promotions. There aren't many drills set up yet, so you'll have to be content just being a foot soldier right now. Hey, it's an honor just to be in the Legion, right? Just be patient, and the Boss'll have something nice and challenging up for you soon. And once you complete it, you'll win a medal, and a promotion. Then, the next time you check the Training Ground, your figure will change, into an EVEN MORE POWERFUL ONE!!! Just imagine it! Oh, and if you think you're good, you'd better be the best, because the other grunts are gonna be just dying to upstage you. You don't want to appear as a mere grunt, when everybody else's a Lieutenant, or above!!! And once you join, you'll gain access to exclusive rooms of the castle that your average, every-day, castle-invading joe just won't have. Of course, yet again, your rank determines your level clearance, so you definitely wanna work hard at being the best.
If I can't roll with the best, I might as well be the best myself. ~~Busta Rhymes
If ya ain't got anymore questions, I think you're about ready to enlist now, ain'tcha?"

What will you do?

Time To Enlist*

No, I changed my mind.

*Side note:Some browsers are unable to send email due to the default mail client being installed incorrectly. To send a letter of dedication directly to The Doc, send it to [email protected] using your own mail client, such as Yahoo!, Hotmail, or Lycos. (Oh, and don't ask about the name. ;)